Where to begin...

I heard about it this morning. Shots fired in a gay nightclub (Pulse) in Orlando, Florida. 50 people dead, over 50 wounded. The media is calling it the deadliest mass shooting in the history of the US. 

I see it differently. 

This is not the deadliest shooting in the US. This is just the most recent. You can't get any deadlier than dead. Killed. Murdered. EVERY shooting in the United States is the deadliest it can be. Christina Grimmie was shot after her show Friday night and now that we have a new incident with "higher stakes" I almost feel like we've already moved on to the next horrible thing. 

I don't mean to make light of these tragic events. I only mean that it was so hard to hear about the last shooting, and the one before that, and the one before that. Here we are again. I'm sure we'll get the same "thoughts and prayers" platitudes and people will be outraged for one reason or another and over the next few days we'll all try to go about our lives.

I'm here at work trying to wrap my head around dealing with this while also selling nuts and bolts to customers who come in. It seems so inconsequential compared to what happened and what's happening. People are dead. From my community. 

I came out as transgender and gay last year (When you're a girl and like girls you're gay. Who knew?). Before that I have been an Ally since high school. Again, I don't mean to say that this is somehow worse than any other shooting (of which there have been too fucking many), but now that I have embraced who I am this hits even closer to home. 

Beyond that I'm a musician. Being a musician and trans can be a lethal combination. I enjoy no small amount of privilege living in a super open place like San Francisco, but it has become increasingly clear to me that there are people outside of my city that consider me less than human. They would do me harm for no other reason than existing. Being trans and a musician and someone who wants these mindsets to change, I feel a need to make myself visible. Make myself known. 

This shit is terrifying. And every time it happens everyone talks big about change, whether they're for or against. I'll say this: Something needs to fucking happen. There is no doubt in my mind that there needs to be some kind of gun control overhaul and I would cheer if we outlawed guns entirely. The haters can bitch and moan all they want, but if they can't come up with a solution that works, we all know there's at least one option. 

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the fucking problem. You might discriminate but guns certainly don't. 

Rest in piece.